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Hilber Psychological Services

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Posts in Anxiety
How Adults can help Teens with ADHD

In the article, “The Pivotal Role of Adults in Teen ADHD Care,” author Mark Bertin acknowledges the effects of ADHD on teens and how parents can have an important role in their child's development. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is defined as a medical disorder that affects one's impulses, concentration, organization and planning skills, and delays academic independence.

Many teens struggle with ADHD and have a hard time keeping up with their peers. Because of this, it is important for parents to understand the impact of ADHD on academic planning. Students who have ADHD usually require a helping hand from an adult until they demonstrate that they are capable of being independent on their own. For teenagers, difficulty in administrative functions such as memory, productivity, time management, and writing skills is seen to hold some back at times. This is when teenagers need their parents. They need someone to support and motivate them to keep going even though it is challenging.

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Some ways to help support students is by creating habits and routines that can get them on a schedule. Those with ADHD like to have activities planned out for them at certain times. This helps them plan out their day and have a visual of what they are going to do. If tasks and activities are repeated each day, then teens with ADHD will excel at those tasks even quicker because they are practicing it so often. Once your teenager completes a set of activities that are up to par, then it is time to introduce new ones. Slowly but surely, your teenager will be able to remember their schedule on their own and take responsibility for doing their tasks on time. By practicing, teenagers are able to build up muscle memory on their own and enhance their cognitive skills without help from a parent. Through repetition and consistent reminders, parents can step back and let their student thrive on their own once their routine is solidified. Even though it may be frustrating at times, it is part of the process of building up a child’s muscle memory so they know how to do tasks on their own. It is important to confirm that students know how to:

  • Keep track of assignments by making a to-do list

  • Break projects up into parts

  • Manage their time

  • Organize themselves

  • Study and write well  

If they need extra help, it is important for parents and teachers to know how to support teenagers with ADHD using the following approach:

  • Promote independence. Only assist students if they need help refocusing on what their routines are supposed to entail by frequently checking in. Otherwise, let them learn from their mistakes and grow as an individual.

  • Intervene early. Instead of sitting back and watching, prompt students to fix their mistakes at the moment.

  • Provide guidance. Try to collaborate more with students and give more direct instruction when problem-solving. This reinforcement will help students understand what is needed to be done when it is first asked.

  • Take the lead. If students are struggling to maintain their habits, this is the time to step in and help them.

  • Gradually withdraw supports. Slowly step away from consistently helping students when they show that they are capable of being on their own. It may take time to fully withdraw support, so be patient. Based on one’s academic skills, it may take them all the way through college to be independent.

  • Return to step one at any time new ADHD-related challenges continue.    

For more information on how ADHD affects teenagers, please contact us. For more information on therapy, visit FAQ at Hilber Psychological Services.

-Written by Lily Schmitt and Tanya L. Hilber, PsyD

#ADHD affects, parent roles, teen health

Referances

Bertin, Mark. “The Pivotal Role of Adults in Teen ADHD Care.” Psychology Today. Child Development Central. Web. 24 Sep. 2018. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/child-development-central/201809/the-pivotal-role-adults-in-teen-adhd-care

Rude vs Mean vs Bullying Behaviors
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Singe Whitson, a child and adolescent therapist, spoke about the importance of identifying rude and mean behavior compared to bullying behaviors. It can be easy to categorize bad behavior as bullying, but it is important to not overgeneralize this term. Although a therapist never wants to minimize a client's situation, we all must learn the difference between these terms in order to not simplify the term "bullying". In reality, bullying is a very serious issue.

Whitson defines rude as, “inadvertently saying or doing something that hurts someone else". These may be seen as social errors such as, burping in someone's face, cutting in line, or kicking a ball at someone. The problem with this is that rude situations are often spontaneous. A child does not mean to burp in someone's face, but without meaning to do so, they are hurting someone else. 

Being mean involves “purposefully saying or doing something to hurt someone once (or maybe twice).” Whitson explains,  “mean behavior very much aims to hurt or depreciate someone….Very often, mean behavior in kids is motivated by angry feelings and/or the misguided goal of propping themselves up in comparison to the person they are putting down.” Although both mean and rude behavior needs to be corrected, it is important to understand how they are different from bullying. 

Bullying is “intentionally aggressive behavior, repeated over time, that involves an imbalance of power….Kids who bully say or do something intentionally hurtful to others and they keep doing it, with no sense of regret or remorse -- even when targets of bullying show or express their hurt or tell the aggressors to stop.” There are many different forms of bullying including, physical, verbal, relational, and cyberbullying. The reason bullying is worse than mean or rude behavior is because of the repeated actions that leave the person being bullied feeling helpless. 

Although bullying has become a topic of greater interest, it can never be talked about enough. Bullying has many long lasting effects on children and adolescents. It is important for parents to be aware of the signs that your child is bullying someone, or being bullied. Preventing bullying will make a difference. 

 Contact us for more information on individuals who are suffering from bullying, people who may have lasting effects such as anxiety or depression, or for help with children who are struggling.

~Written by Allison Parker and Tanya L. Hilber, PsyD

Reference: “A Mighty Girl.” Www.amightygirl.com, 16 Apr. 2018, www.amightygirl.com/?https=true.

 

Top 7 things anxiety sufferers want those without it to know
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Sometimes suffering from anxiety can be hard to understand if you don't suffer from it yourself. People without anxiety often think "Just breathe and you'll be fine" or "What's the big deal?". But to people with anxiety, it's a really big deal. Here are the top 7 things anxiety sufferers want those without it to know. 

1. People with anxiety obsess over the little things. 
Things that seem like little things to you, are actually really big things to people who suffer with anxiety. Something as "small" as being looked at wrong or ignored can be very daunting. Situations like these stick with them throughout the day causing even more problems. So the next time something "small" happens, recognize it can be big to them. 

2. People with anxiety have every intention of going to an outing, but at last minute cancel. 
As these daunting ideas continue through out the day, our decision to go out to the movies or dinner becomes the worst idea in the world. Although people with anxiety want to go out, their thoughts often get the best of them and lead to only one decision, canceling. 

3. We are exhausted. 
The constant thinking and question can take a toll on a person who suffers from anxiety. Distracting thoughts throughout the day lead to staying up late at night constantly thinking. This leads to a lack of sleep and struggle to wake up in the morning. Waking up is a struggle for everyone, but imagine what it's like for someone with anxiety. 

4. Anxiety sufferers replay conversations in our head.
When your mind is constantly thinking and running through every possible scenario, you often start to explain a topic faster than possible. All of a sudden, what you're saying isn't making sense. This can be embarrassing for someone who suffers from anxiety. With that feeling of embarrassment, they often shut down. This doesn't mean they're in a mood, they're just struggling with that moment. 

5. Anxiety sufferers compare themselves to others. 
It's hard for someone with anxiety to understand how easy it is for people to get over things. When they see in person or on social media everything that is going on in other people's lives, they often question why it's so much harder for them. This causing even more of an issue when they begin worrying about why they're so worried all the time. 

6. Anxiety sufferers obsess over mistakes and beat ourselves up over it:
When something goes wrong, they often blame themselves. Therefore, when they make a mistake, they obsess over it. Doing things wrong and believing they're not good enough can lead to bigger problems. It's no surprise they're perfectionists. 

7. Finally: please, please don’t give up on us.
Sometimes, when a person with anxiety has no other option than to give up on themselves, they really need YOU to not give up on them. Although it can be frustrating and hard to understand, don't give up on them. 

People who suffer with anxiety are aware of how irrational they may sound. They know what they are going through and they're trying their hardest. Before giving up on them, try to understand them. 

While this information is geared towards individuals who suffer with anxiety, this same information about empathy and understanding emotions can be used to all individuals with disasbilties. 

 Contact us for more information on individuals who suffer with anxiety, learning and expressing emotions, or for help with children who are struggling.

~Written by Allison Parker and Tanya L. Hilber, PsyD

Reference: Mazza, Laura. “Top 7 Things Anxiety Sufferers Want Those without It to Know.”Love What Matters. 

America’s Real Digital Divide

The biggest question being asked: How bad are electronics for children? The answer: bad. The problem is people are not aware of the consequences screen time can have on their children.

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One of the problems is that people believe that middle-class children are being harmed by too much screen time. However, minority and disadvantaged kids spend much more time in front of screens."According to a 2011 study by researchers at Northwestern University, minority children watch 50 percent more TV than their white peers, and they use computers for up to one and a half hours longer each day. White children spend eight hours and 36 minutes looking at a screen every day, according to a survey by the Kaiser Family Foundation, while black and Hispanic children spend 13 hours." This large amount of time spent staring at a screen has a negative effect on children’s ability to understand nonverbal emotional cues, and is linked to higher rates of mental illness, including depression. 

Unfortunately, low-income and less-educated parents receive the message that screen time is going to help their children. Parents are being told be teachers and other staff, that a faster computer can help raise their child's grades. However, in states, such as Maine, that supply tablets for each student, there has been no noticeable improvement on standardized testing 

No one is telling poorer parents about the dangers of screen time. This is the factor that is stopping these parents from limiting their child's screen time. The real digital divide is not between children who have access to internet or don't, it's about the parents who have been brain washed into thinking more screen time is good because they don't know any better. It's time to make a difference in the lives of all children. 

If you have questions about the effects of too much screen time and how it is linked to a higher rate of mental illness or would like to schedule an appointment, please contact us. For more information on therapy, visit FAQ at Hilber Psychological Services

~Written by Allison Parker and Tanya L. Hilber, PsyD

Reference: Schaefer Riley, Naomi. “America’s Real Digital Divide.” The New York Times , The New York Times, 11 Feb. 2018.