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Hilber Psychological Services

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Posts tagged ADHD
What Change is like for Individuals with ADHD

In the article, “Lazy Days of Summer? For ADHD Moms, That’s Not a Thing,” author Tricia Arthur describes how her never-ending, changing weeks can take a toll on her mental health. She notes that ”changes in a routine are very difficult for a person with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD)” to juggle. Especially during the summer, one’s stress levels and self-doubt can increase because it is so hard to keep track of everything going on in not only your life but the rest of the family’s and still believe it is possible. 

Arthur’s life coach said, “that neurotypical people are a tad quicker and more intuitive than ADHD-brained people in making adjustments when changing circumstances require it.” Knowing this, it is understandable why you, who struggles with ADHD, has a harder time comprehending changing plans all the time. During this time, it is important to relax and give yourself a break and realize that everything will work out; you just have to take it step by step, day by day. 

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Summer is the hardest season for most parents to get used to. From a routine every day to different plans each week, and even every day, is a lot to think about. It takes a lot of time to pan every little detail out, which can be exhausting. Although it may seem like you have the appropriate med regiment to reduce ADHD symptoms and the right amount of help and brain rest and self-care to keep a clear, open mind, it may also seem like you can snap at any moment because all these things are on your mind (Arthur). Each day something probably increases your stress level which makes you more anxious, however, it does not have to always be like that. Touching base with your therapist can also assist with these big changes to help it become a little smoother. As long as you acknowledge your stresses and take a step back to see how you can counterbalance them, whether that is by delegating or taking breaks in between, it is okay to be stressed.

Unfortunately, even if you are doing everything right, or just simply getting through the day, you will have to do it all over again. Arthur suggests writing a motivational note to yourself that reminds you that you are doing great and that stress is okay that says something like this:

Dear Tricia, You have ADHD, and it’s for real. Know that everything it takes to run your family and your life is way more difficult for you than it is for others. This means you gotta take care of yourself more than others have to take care of themselves. This also means you gotta give yourself a crap ton of grace. You really are rocking it and you really are intelligent and when you don’t feel you are either, be patient. Also, layer on the self-care, consult with your ADHD-specialized psychiatrist, and did I say be patient? Breathe and be patient. Now is not forever. Healing, a better grip, and inner calm always return in time. Hang on. Remember: You rock! Love, Tricia”

For more information on ADHD and its symptoms, please contact us. To learn how we can help you or your child who may be struggling with being successful with ADHD, contact us or visit our website. For more information on therapy, visit Hilber Psychological Services.

To learn how Neurofeedback can help with ADHD symptoms, visit San Diego Center for Neurofeedback, APPC or contact SDCNF for for more information.

- Written by Lily Schmitt and Tanya L. Hilber, PsyD

References:

Arthur, Tricia. “Lazy Days of Summer? For ADHD Moms, That’s Not a Thing.” Attitude. Web. 7,  Aug. 2019. https://www.additudemag.com/i-hate-summer-adhd-mom

The Complicated Layers of ADHD

In the article “Your Child’s ADHD is and Iceberg,” author Penny Williams compares Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) to an iceberg. In detail, an iceberg has many layers that are not visible to the human eye. Correspondingly, just like an iceberg, one that has ADHD do not have visible symptoms that are easily recognizable. Symptoms such as inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity are very important to take notice of. Williams notes that “these traits are too often mistaken for character flaws, personality defects, or moral or ethical deficits. They’re not any of those things.” In this case, it is necessary for parents to pay close attention to their child and be consciously aware of their symptoms. 

Within each layer of ADHD there are the following:

1. Poor Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence Kids who struggle with ADHD may experience poor self-esteem. It is the parent’s job to help their child regain their self-confidence by creating opportunities such as calm environments and activities where your child can excel in.

2. Developmental Delays Williams states that “children with ADHD develop 2-3 years more slowly than their peers.” This can impact their maturity, social skills, executive functioning, emotional dysregulation, and self-regulation. 

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3. Inflexibility It is seen that kids with ADHD may be more stubborn than willing. Inflexibility prevents children from being able to manage their emotions: they do not have the skills to notice that their emotions can be changed rather than one way. 

4. Intensity When children's emotional awareness, self-regulation, frustration tolerance increase, it can lead to hypersensitivity that can make them have extreme emotions. When this happens, instead of trying to resolve this intensity and get to the bottom of it, ask your child, “How can I help you?” This will help your child understand that you are there for them and are trying to help them.

5. Emotional Dysregulation Children with ADHD may have a hard time regulating their emotions that’s appropriate for given situation and/or their age. They may have a difficult time with expressing and regulating their emotions at home, to the family, at school, and in social interactions with peers.

6. Co-Existing Conditions According to Penny Williams, “it’s estimated that 50 to 60 percent of individuals with ADHD also have one or more coexisting conditions.” These conditions include mood disorders, anxiety, autism, learning disabilities, functioning deficits, and more. As a parent, it is important to keep and eye out for signs of distress in order to fully understand and help your child effectively. 

7. Skill Deficits Skill deficits are very common for those who have ADHD. Because ADHD is a developmental disorder, kids with ADHD may not have fully developed skills on how to manage and regulate their time, frustrations, plans, emotions, problems, etc. However, these skills can be taught improved over time with a little bit of practice and help from the parents.

8. Executive Functioning Deficits Executive functioning skills such as learning how to manage one’s day, organizing, starting tasks, regulating one’s emotions, and managing one’s time may fall apart if one exhibits executive functioning deficits. As a parent it is dire to identify your child’s level of executive functioning and continue to be flexible when it comes to adapting for areas of weakness in the classroom and at home.

9. Time Blindness People with ADHD may have trouble with the concept of time. For example, 30 min. may feel like forever or just a quick second. People with ADHD may not have an innate sense of what it feels like. William notes that you can tell a child that ”you have until the end of class,” or, “You have one hour,” but that will mean virtually nothing to someone with time blindness. 

10. Meltdowns In order to get what they want, children may throw temper tantrums to get their parents attention. Generally, to get what they want, children may have a meltdown or a tantrum. However, a meltdown is different than a tantrum. In detail, during a meltdown your child is no longer in control of what they are saying or doing. Similarly, a meltdown can be triggered by a tantrum, which usually comes first, along with sensory overload, feeling misunderstood nor heard. During this time your child can not go through their actions and rationalize what they have done. At this time, it is important for you as parents to not give in to what they originally wanted: why they through the temper tantrum and had a meltdown in the person. If you give in, then your child will associate meltdowns as a way to achieve what they want every time, essentially reinforcing the tantrums and meltdowns.

11. School Incompatibility Students with ADHD may have a harder time in school because all assignments are not subjected for their needs. Furthermore, Williams states that in school “students must sit still, be quiet, and remain attentive for long periods of time.” However, kids with ADHD may not handle staying still for long periods of time nor does the teacher realize that it is very difficult for these students. These weaknesses and challenges are rarely considered by teachers and parents.  Your child may not be able to make all of your expectations and that is okay, this is when one needs to be flexible. 

12. Pills Don’t Teach Skills There is not one medication that solves everything: there is no magic pill.  Certain medications may affect one physically on the outside (hyper focus or hyperactivity), but on the contrary, the layers beneath one are yet to be cured with one pop of a pill. In order to get past this, as parents, it is essential to pay attention to your child’s self-esteem and work on building it up with them. To do that, you must focus on your child’s inflexibility, intensity, emotional dysregulation, skill deficits, time blindness, etc.

Focus on looking below the surface and deeper into your child’s everyday actions and emotions. This will not only contribute to the growth of you and your child’s relationship, but their well-being and mental health as well. Williams describes that “these hidden layers are all part of ADHD. Together, they form that beautiful but dangerous iceberg. Others might not see them; you must.” 

For more information on ADHD and its symptoms, please contact us. To learn how we can help you or your child who may be struggling with being successful with ADHD, contact us or visit our website. For more information on therapy, visit Hilber Psychological Services. 

To learn how Neurofeedback can help with the “white-knuckling” experience of ADHD, visit San Diego Center for Neurofeedback, APPC or contact us for for more information.

- Written by Lily Schmitt and Tanya L. Hilber, PsyD

References 

Williams, Penny. “Your Child’s ADHD is an Iceberg.” ADHD Symptoms in Children. ADDitude. Web. 28 Jan. 2019. https://www.additudemag.com/what-is-adhd-symptoms-hidden-parents-educators/

How Adults can help Teens with ADHD

In the article, “The Pivotal Role of Adults in Teen ADHD Care,” author Mark Bertin acknowledges the effects of ADHD on teens and how parents can have an important role in their child's development. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is defined as a medical disorder that affects one's impulses, concentration, organization and planning skills, and delays academic independence.

Many teens struggle with ADHD and have a hard time keeping up with their peers. Because of this, it is important for parents to understand the impact of ADHD on academic planning. Students who have ADHD usually require a helping hand from an adult until they demonstrate that they are capable of being independent on their own. For teenagers, difficulty in administrative functions such as memory, productivity, time management, and writing skills is seen to hold some back at times. This is when teenagers need their parents. They need someone to support and motivate them to keep going even though it is challenging.

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Some ways to help support students is by creating habits and routines that can get them on a schedule. Those with ADHD like to have activities planned out for them at certain times. This helps them plan out their day and have a visual of what they are going to do. If tasks and activities are repeated each day, then teens with ADHD will excel at those tasks even quicker because they are practicing it so often. Once your teenager completes a set of activities that are up to par, then it is time to introduce new ones. Slowly but surely, your teenager will be able to remember their schedule on their own and take responsibility for doing their tasks on time. By practicing, teenagers are able to build up muscle memory on their own and enhance their cognitive skills without help from a parent. Through repetition and consistent reminders, parents can step back and let their student thrive on their own once their routine is solidified. Even though it may be frustrating at times, it is part of the process of building up a child’s muscle memory so they know how to do tasks on their own. It is important to confirm that students know how to:

  • Keep track of assignments by making a to-do list

  • Break projects up into parts

  • Manage their time

  • Organize themselves

  • Study and write well  

If they need extra help, it is important for parents and teachers to know how to support teenagers with ADHD using the following approach:

  • Promote independence. Only assist students if they need help refocusing on what their routines are supposed to entail by frequently checking in. Otherwise, let them learn from their mistakes and grow as an individual.

  • Intervene early. Instead of sitting back and watching, prompt students to fix their mistakes at the moment.

  • Provide guidance. Try to collaborate more with students and give more direct instruction when problem-solving. This reinforcement will help students understand what is needed to be done when it is first asked.

  • Take the lead. If students are struggling to maintain their habits, this is the time to step in and help them.

  • Gradually withdraw supports. Slowly step away from consistently helping students when they show that they are capable of being on their own. It may take time to fully withdraw support, so be patient. Based on one’s academic skills, it may take them all the way through college to be independent.

  • Return to step one at any time new ADHD-related challenges continue.    

For more information on how ADHD affects teenagers, please contact us. For more information on therapy, visit FAQ at Hilber Psychological Services.

-Written by Lily Schmitt and Tanya L. Hilber, PsyD

Referances

Bertin, Mark. “The Pivotal Role of Adults in Teen ADHD Care.” Psychology Today. Child Development Central. Web. 24 Sep. 2018. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/child-development-central/201809/the-pivotal-role-adults-in-teen-adhd-care

Fortnite and Kids with ADHD & Social Issues

In the article “Fortnite and Kids With ADHD or Social Skills Issues: 7 Things I Tell Parents,” Mark Griffin provides 7 pieces of advice to parents whose child plays Fortnite everyday for long hours on end. An estimated 50 million people (teenagers 13 years and up) play Fortnite. 50 million teenagers spend their evenings playing a video game. 50 million teenagers are glued to their digital devices. 50 million teenagers are focusing their time on video games rather than doing their homework or trying to get at least six hours of sleep. In specific, children with ADHD may have a harder time focusing on other important activities surrounding them because they are hyper focused on the game at hand.

Fortnite can be played on any device whether it is on one’s phone, tv, or computer. Because our mobile devices are portable, teenagers can play the game at school rather than learning. However, most parents are unaware of the impact that fortnite has on kids with learning and attention issues or even those that do not have ADHD. Griffin noted that some teenagers can handle the action of the violent video game but others with ADHD may have a hard time with social interaction. However, interaction between players is required if the player decides to play on a team, providing an opportunity for your child to practice their social skills without having to speak to a person face to face. This may be good for some children because they can practice teamwork while collaborating with others without having the stress or anxiety of being judged for what they say. If teenagers have ADHD or social skills issues, Fortnite may help to develop their social skills in a sense that it is a good conversation starter that most kids have in common and can talk about.

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In addition, the same skills needed to survive (escape potential danger, think quickly on your feet, and be alert of one’s surroundings) in the game can be transferred to real life when they are not playing and turn out to be helpful skills to have. In comparison, “these are the same skills that can trip up many kids with ADHD in their daily lives” (Griffin). In this case, it is good to keep a close eye on your child’s screen time if your child has ADHD or social skills issues and is playing excessively or negative behaviors have increased.

In general, Griffin advises that “if you allow video game screen time (with Fortnite or any other game), it’s important to have clear rules and set limits about when and where.” If your child is going to spend time on their digital device for hours, be sure your child takes breaks for their eye and brain development. It is okay to have social interaction, although helping your child understand their limits of how much they can handle without increasing negative behaviors is also important. It is okay to say no and follow through if your child asks to play because you are keeping their best interest in mind.

If your child does not understand your rules and limits then increase the communication and conversations help them understand how screen time can affect their brain and behaviors. Make a plan together of when they can play the game and associated boundaries with gaming. This will increase the communication and help you and your child to be on the same page, as well as allowing your child to get a good night's rest.

Contact us for more information on how Fortnite and other video games can affect teenagers with ADHD or social skill issues.

If you have questions about tween and teen development and the effects of screen time, please contact us. For more information on therapy, visit FAQ at Hilber Psychological Services.

-Written by Lily Schmitt and Tanya L. Hilber, PsyD

Reference

Griffin, Mark. “Fortnite and Kids With ADHD or Social Skills Issues: 7 Things I Tell Parents.” Understood for Learning and Attention Issues. Expert Corner. Web. 17 July 2018. https://www.understood.org/en/community-events/blogs/expert-corner/2018/07/17/7-things-i-tell-parents-of-kids-with-adhd-or-social-skills-issues-about-fortnite