Hilber Psychological Services
Therapy for Children, Teens, & Adults in San Diego
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Hilber Psychological Services

San Diego Therapists | Child Therapist | Couples Counseling | ADHD | Anxiety | Parenting | Behaviors | Relationships | Marriage and Family Therapists | Psychologists | Professional Clinical Counselors

Accepting Anger


One way to stay healthy and balanced is to accept your current emotions as they are, not as they should be. I find that many people readily accept happy and excited emotions, individuals sometimes sad emotions depending on why they're sad. However, many individuals find it difficult to accept anger. Anger can be associated with aggression, rage, fighting, and impulsive actions in the baskets of "should not do" and "this makes you a bad person." Fortunately, anger is an emotion, not an action or behavior. Anger is okay. Emotions may not seem logical, but emotions are important in our daily lives. They make our lives full, well-balanced, and explain more to us and others than solely our behaviors. Now, I'm sure you're thinking happiness and joy make our lives well-balanced.. but anger can also help us. When accepted and acted upon appropriately, anger can be useful to us and our family. Sometimes, anger shows us that we were hurt by someone or that we were fearful of something.

To accept and cope with anger appropriately, give yourself some time to sit with the anger.

  • Many people find it's best to take a break for 5-10 minutes to feel okay with being mad.
  • Focus on breathing (deep breathing) and do an activity you enjoy. This could be writing, surfing, hiking, crafting, talking to someone, or listening to music.
  • Return to what you were doing when you became angry and continue with your day knowing that you tolerated and coped with your anger.

It's also nice to talk to someone about what causes the anger to better cope with these situations. By understanding anger we can cope and accept our anger. 

For more questions, contact us at Hilber Psychological Services.